I've just heard from a friend in the north of England.
He says it has been snowing heavily for three days now and his wife has done nothing but stare through the window…
If it doesn't stop soon, he says, he'll probably have to let her in.
My Missus said the other day...'If you win the lottery will you still love me?'. I said 'Of course I will..I'll miss you, but I'll still love you'...
I said to the Missus the other evening..'Get your coat on..it's time to go to the pub'...she said 'Oh, are you taking me out for a drink?. I replied..'No, I'm turning the heating off when I leave'.. My Missus was trying on a new skirt the other day...she said 'Does this skirt make my ass look fat?'..I said 'No, your fat makes your ass look fat.. ...Ian
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married...then it was too late...... A man is incomplete until he gets a wife...then he's finished....Ian
You're already on the list, Ron ! No exact date set yet, but Vidya and I are looking at March-April next year....and it will probably be Newbury (Berkshire) vicinity...
We're actually looking at the old officers mess from the former Greenham Common airfield....lovely old country house, with history...!
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing,
chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly
Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she
ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says,
"Better think it over.............women like that are hard to find."
My wife went to the beauty parlour and paid £50 for a mudpack facial...she looked fantastic for two days...then the mud fell off.... My friends wife was married before..in fact she's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face..Ian