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Bad weather

I've just heard from a friend in the north of England.

He says it has been snowing heavily for three days now and his wife has done nothing but stare through the window…
If it doesn't stop soon, he says, he'll probably have to let her in.

email (option): noam10@gmail.com

Re: Bad weather

My Missus said the other day...'If you win the lottery will you still love me?'. I said 'Of course I will..I'll miss you, but I'll still love you'...
I said to the Missus the other evening..'Get your coat on..it's time to go to the pub'...she said 'Oh, are you taking me out for a drink?. I replied..'No, I'm turning the heating off when I leave'.. My Missus was trying on a new skirt the other day...she said 'Does this skirt make my ass look fat?'..I said 'No, your fat makes your ass look fat.. ...Ian

email (option): julie@wright52.plus.com

Re: Bad weather

I took my wife to an opticians this morning. Even they couldn't see why I married her.

email (option): petercomley@web.de

Re: Bad weather

My Wife and I had 20 happy years...then we met each other...Ian

email (option): julie@wright52.plus.com

Re: Bad weather

I also love my wife very much. In the winter she gives me wamth, and in the summer she gives me shade!

email (option): jamescusteau@yahoo.com

Re: Bad weather

There's nothing I wouldn't do for my wife, and there's nothing she wouldn't do for me. That's how we get along....Doing nothing for each other.

email (option): ronpier@talk21.com

Re: Bad weather

Make your home burglar-proof.....

Simply fit all the windows and doors with bra - fasteners.....

F'kin things....!!! :o)

Re: Bad weather

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married...then it was too late...... A man is incomplete until he gets a wife...then he's finished....Ian

email (option): julie@wright52.plus.com

Re: Bad weather

you bad boy what would happen if your wives find out about these joke all money grately recieved

Re: Bad weather

I'm safe for the moment....I don't have a wife...! Mind you, that's changing next year...:o(

At least she loves the old British iron as much as I do.....

Re: Bad weather

I'll expect an invite to bun fight in Royal Wootton then Ron

email (option): ronpier@talk21.com

Re: Bad weather

You're already on the list, Ron ! No exact date set yet, but Vidya and I are looking at March-April next year....and it will probably be Newbury (Berkshire) vicinity...

We're actually looking at the old officers mess from the former Greenham Common airfield....lovely old country house, with history...!

Keep your diary open....

Re: Bad weather

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing,
chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly
Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she
ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says,
"Better think it over.............women like that are hard to find."

email (option): britool51@hotmail.com

Re: Bad weather

A mate of mine drowned, so at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt...

It's what he would have wanted.....

Re: Bad weather

My wife went to the beauty parlour and paid £50 for a mudpack facial...she looked fantastic for two days...then the mud fell off.... My friends wife was married before..in fact she's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face..Ian

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