You are just too funny, what were you drinking when you came up with this story? Certainly not mocha! LOL! Very good stuff, very entertained! and the gospel of Sciuridae Mammalia. RIOT! LMAO! I'm glad you came to the humor section!
If you like her humor, you'd LOVE her horror! Perhaps she'll grace us with one of her darker pieces one of these days. My personal fav of JWolfe's is DIAL-AN-EXORCISM. If you ever get the chance to read her work, don't miss it!